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If I Were A Banned Book

If I were a banned book, I’d be the dirty bits and the heaving breasts and the twisted sheets and the scented oils and the chains and rope and dripping candle wax. I would coax you into multiples, and I would urge you to invite another. I’d be the empty bottle of gin on the kitchen table. I’d promise to call, but never would.

If I were a banned book, I’d tell you to challenge authority and question everything and demand answers. I’d tell you that the 1 percent is nothing without the rest of us labeling the 1 percent the 1 percent. I’d teach you to cook anarchy and embrace diversity and kiss your same-gender lover in public.

If I were a banned book, I’d let you ask me about sex and growing up, and I’d sing the caged-bird songs, and I’d be each of the nobodies who would answer to the name nobody. I’d teach you to sail a raft and swim against tides and dance in towns where dances aren’t danced.

If I were a banned book, I’d be the light on long-past midnight in your attic, and I’d be the cauldron around which dance witches and in which fire burns and toil and trouble doubles.

If I were a banned book, I’d bring flowers to the grave of a mouse and I’d teach you that forever sometimes means forever and sometimes means less than forever but always means what forever will mean to you, then, at that moment.

If I were a banned book, I’d be the secrets you write in your diary and I’d be the lies you write in your diary and I’d be the truths that you wish weren’t truths that you write in your diary.

If I were a banned book, I’d be cupboards and wardrobes and the hidden door under a stairwell in which lives the boy who lived. I’d be beanstalks and magic shoes and godmothers, winged and otherwise. I’d be potion poultice poetry. I’d be words wings wizardry.

If I were a banned book, I’d dance with insects outside of an enormous peach, and I’d race wolves in woods overgrown with ivy and snow. I’d be the substitute teacher who’d let you smoke cigarettes outside. I’d be the comic book hidden behind your history book.

If I were a banned book, I’d urge you to go ask Alice, and wrinkle time, and ride in talking cars. Everyday, I’d crown a new king fly-lord, and everyday would be a good day to say goodbye to something.

If I were a banned book, I’d be the Pigman and I’d be a Wallflower and I’d be the story of Sleeping Beauty, written under a penname. I’d kill mockingbirds and I’d talk about the things we talk about when we talk about things like death and love and sex and forever, which, as I already would have taught you, sometimes means less than forever but always mean what forever will mean to you, then, at that moment.

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William Henderson - Nov. 30, 2011 (via sexifinehotmess)

(via deviantgrace)

835 notes

imperfectio:

I just love books and libraries and the smell of books and complete silence except the sound of someone flipping the pages and i just love words and paper and fictional characters and all the feelings my destiny is to live inside a bookstore

(via deviantgrace)

37,217 notes

floral-prince:

closetaffairs:

bigcoolscorner:

Rocky once again trying to convince himself that he is in fact a lap dog.

I WANNA CUDDLE HIM FOREVER

this picture made all of my problems go away

floral-prince:

closetaffairs:

bigcoolscorner:

Rocky once again trying to convince himself that he is in fact a lap dog.

I WANNA CUDDLE HIM FOREVER

this picture made all of my problems go away

(via deviantgrace)

182,382 notes

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

sherlockspeare:

John, what is your face, John.

I AM EXTREMELY UPSET

THIS IS MY EXTREME FROWN

(via hyrenee)

50,352 notes

vibesflint:

if i sing around you i am 150% comfortable with you because i fucking hate my singing voice

(Source: whoisjohnocallaghan, via fiercezombies)

32,448 notes

cybermeninblack:

if you sing les mis music with me you can’t be all casual and sing like any other song. you must sing wITH THE FIERY PASSION OF THE REVOLUTIONARIES WHO WOULD DIE FOR THEIR COUNTRY WE ARE NO LONGER TEENAGERS WE ARE IN FUCKING FRANCE FIGHTING FOR OUR LIVES

(via deviantgrace)

24,602 notes

thegirl-inred:

toned-tanned-fit-andready:

v0nlaust:

caliiforniadreaming-xo:

gothicstan:

localised:

do you ever get the urge to get up in the middle of the night while everyone else is fast asleep and just walk places and to be completely alone and entirely dedicated to your thoughts

yes but the problem is i dont want to get murdered u feel me

i feel you 

we all feel you 

why are so many people touching me

This is why you don’t walk around in the middle of the night

(via all-ice-alice)

406,765 notes

shakeitbakeitbo0tyquakeit:

i hate when the teacher ends a lesson early and gives the class time to talk with each other because im always just sitting there alone for 10 minutes likeimage

(Source: jesuschristvevo, via pizza)

89,218 notes

thebeccabeast:

spectralxelemental:

the-potter-tardis:

theannieplanet:

im laughing so hard

it’s funny because we all know who this is about

I think I’m literally dying trying to read these, ow, mah sides.

brb sobbing

(via wizardowl)

53,626 notes

(via pizza)

4,851 notes

nerdgirl-fangirl:

Yeah, I don’t think that we do normal

(via edwardspoonhands)

9,881 notes

(Source: thiswontbebigondignity, via hyrenee)

21,252 notes

Hank's Tumblr: Thoughts on the Yahoo! Thing

edwardspoonhands:

First, I love Tumblr and want to keep loving it. And yes, it is immediately terrifying to hear that Yahoo (which, from a lot of our perspectives, is a laughably backwards and culturally irrelevant company) is going to own Tumblr. I sympathize.

But there are a number of circumstances in which…

14,762 notes

mrpunchinello:

asherlockian:

edle:

dragon-heartstring-core:

UNABLE TO NOT REBLOG
NEED TO REBLOG

FOREVER REBLOG.
The Incredible Attention Span of Severus Snape…


dude you’ve been “teaching” there since you were 21
and you just now noticed
Dumbledore’s magnificent double agent ladies and gentlemen

mrpunchinello:

asherlockian:

edle:

dragon-heartstring-core:

UNABLE TO NOT REBLOG

NEED TO REBLOG

FOREVER REBLOG.

The Incredible Attention Span of Severus Snape…

dude you’ve been “teaching” there since you were 21

and you just now noticed

Dumbledore’s magnificent double agent ladies and gentlemen

(Source: frostymaggie, via wizardowl)

269,490 notes

graham norton during Eurovision 2013: the best of

graham: if two girls kissing offends you, then grow up
on ireland performance: good news for the irish economy, i hear they’ve discovered oil there. too bad it’s baby oil and they appear to have used it all on his backing dancers.
graham on montenegro: the picture quality of the moon landing was better than this link to Montenegro
montenegro: we have to be brief, don’t we?
graham: yes
graham: i don’t think bonnie can win now, i don’t know, i’m not carol vorderman.
petra: we're half through voting now
graham: oh that's depressing
estonia: shows up
graham: is he standing outside a prison?
albania: petra you look gorgeous tonight!
graham: better than you
albanian guy: (singing) should i live, should i die without your love--
graham: you should leave
eric: i'll help you to the bathroom
graham: don't do that eric, that's how rumours start
germany: we're having so much fun!!!1!
graham: speak for yourself
dude: breathes
graham: oh look, it's sideshow bob, nice of him to show up
petra: azerbaijan won 2 years ago, it can still happen now!
graham: god, please, no
denmark: winning
graham: busy right now, just won the eurovision, i'll call back later. #donereallywell!!1!1!
voting after denmark has won: proceeds, ppl giving points to russia or idk
graham: can someone please tell her she can't win now
graham: oh flowers now, marvellous
graham: my taxi is waiting outside so if she could sing as quick as possible, that would be nice
10,129 notes